Riding the roller coaster

Wednesday—I dreamed last night that I was entering my high school building, early in the morning. It was only two weeks until graduation, and as I walked in, the assistant principal fell in step alongside me, and in that fake-hearty voice that teachers use, asked "Well, are you ready to work hard on your studies?" I looked at him and said "Frankly, I'm ready to get the hell out of here!" When he looked surprised, I tugged on my gray beard and continued, "Look at me! Fifty five years old and still in high school! Don't you think it's about time...?" And then, jokingly, "Jeez, if I can just pass Phys Ed this year!"—as if that had caused me to be held back. Usually my dreams have no relevance to my daily life, but this one pretty obviously did.

I'm having my emotional ups and downs. Some days I'm cheerful; some days I'm weepy. I can even go from smiles to tears in a minute if some little thing upsets me. (It takes longer to go the other way.)

They say your body doesn't know the difference between good stress and bad stress. I guess my emotions don't either, hence these occasional teary episodes. Overall, I'm delighted to be retiring (although I'll miss my friends at work)...but sometimes I just get down in the dumps for no apparent reason.

I told my friend Janet this morning that I was feeling emotionally labile.

"What the hell is that?"

"You can make me cry easily."

"Oh."

Aw, heck—even when I'm looking for sympathy, I manage to make myself unintelligible. That's the curse of being an inveterate word collector!

I just hope this emotional roller coaster will end once I've actually made the transition.